Pick Two

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future,” I thought about the deep truth of this statement as I dug my feet into the sand alongside my tribe of thirty plus years. I listened as they talked about how their own children are having to navigate relational hurdles that we never even dreamed of to find their people, heck to even find themselves! 

                   I work at a college. It’s in North Dakota. It’s a very small college. I guess that last sentence was unnecessary after the previous sentence. I’m surrounded by 18-25 year olds, which is great since I’m 29.  We don’t always have drama around here, but when we do, Dos Equis, it centers around relationships. And don’t you discount some good, clean, Christian, relational drama!  We could have our own telenovela!  Spoiler alert! Everyone’s drama surrounds relationships…. that’s why they’re so freaking important!  

                   For the best program around, (PACK YOUR BAGS) it’s crunch time, the pandemic has put a bit of a twist, if you will, on marketing a travel / study abroad program. Note that I said, MARKETING not RUNNING. We had a kick #$% year! (If you filled those 3 spaces in with anything other than “BUT” then I don’t know what to tell you!) Like seriously, from Ellendale to Chicago to Hawaii and now to Israel, God gave us an AMAZING year, and I know we have to MARKET using the travel and degree programs and all because it's why one actually goes to college I suppose, but can I be completely honest? The BEST things you walk out of here with are JESUS and COMMUNITY and I can hear some jerk mumbling right now, “And a whole lotta debt!” Shut up already! Truthfully, I’d pay good money for those I love the most to fall more in love with Jesus, find their identity in Christ,  have good healthy friendships, and earn a degree along the way, but I don’t think we can market those as deliverables or charge for Jesus’ work on the cross, so I digress, come to college & travel the world! 

                   Stick with me here for just a minute longer, I don’t just tiptoe along the lines of blasphemy I also teach psychology. According to Erik Erikson (who does that to their kid?)  there are 8 life stages and with each one comes a specific crisis, supposedly just ONE, so I’m wondering if he meant in a day or what? After college, that crisis is Intimacy vs. Isolation. Will you choose to live in community or to isolate yourself?  Not just if you will remain single or get married, but will you have friends, maintain relationships? Will you have a tribe? Student life has socialization and relationships built right into it, you literally live with, eat with, go to class with, and party with your friends 24/7. In college, whatever is going on with you, everybody knows, whether you want them to or not, it’s just built in. In the real world, not so much, unless you’re one of those people who use Facebook as your diary. (And if that’s YOU; stop!)  If you’re over 25, in one of Erikson’s final 2 stages of life and if his theory is correct then you’ve faced at least 6 life crises so far, what did you need the most?  When you lost the baby? When your marriage fell apart? When the doctor called? When the house flooded?  When the accident happened? When it didn’t work out as planned?  

                   More tequila? A master’s degree? A bigger house? More money? Those weren’t your answers? Weird. Okay maybe some of them would’ve helped a little, but I bet your answers were something more along the lines of, “my people” or “my faith,” weren’t they? I know, because the more times I turn 29, the bigger me and my problems get it seems I’m always looking for my people and my Jesus.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m so thankful for all my resources, experiences, degrees, and they come in handy, sure, but when the BIG stuff happens I’ve just noted that those aren’t my GO TOs. Speaking of, this is not where I was going to GO TO with this blog, truthfully I sat down to write a newsletter, but I'll do just about anything to get out of that!   

                  So,  if you’re facing something huge right now and wondering how in the world to tackle it, my advice would be: Jesus and community. If you’re worried about your kids, make sure they have access to: Jesus and community. If you’re wondering how to fill up that new calendar now that the world is opening back up prioritize:  Jesus and community. Now I need Jesus and community to come write this newsletter! 

 

Refugees

**This post was written in March of 2016, but for some reason I never published it, but it seems I should tonight.

 What comes to mind when you here the word refugee?  Have you ever seen a refugee in real life?  I have.  They looked the part, in trouble, scared, in distress.  A man in a bind, in need of help.  In over their head and in need of someone to come to their aid.

 News outlets have conditioned us to see refugees as foreigners. The refugee I'm most familiar with is the one who looks a lot like me.   A refugee is someone in need of refuge. See what I did there?  Why would an American ever need refuge? Inside our borders we have everything we need, that's why there's a line to get in right? We both rightly and wrongly place a lot of hope in our American soil and a lot of other things. We've got so much security, jobs, the constitution, there are laws and boundaries in place, we can call 911 and out roll the cops, the firemen, the EMTs,  there are programs  in place if we fall on hard times, there's Uber if I'm stranded,  insurance companies,  literal shelters, and on top of that we've got our bank accounts and 401Ks,  our families and security measures and plans of our own in place. We call for help when our internet goes out other than this we've pretty much got it covered. Hashtag BLESSED.

God bless America! And as someone who's seen other parts of this world, I can confirm, He sure has! It's always wonderful to come HOME. America is GREAT.

What flashes in my mind when I hear the term refugee?   A family huddled in a basement bathtub as tornado sirens wail, kids with a trash bag of their belongings timidly walking into a new foster care home, the line outside the homeless shelter on Commercial at dusk each evening. I see a man pleading with the loan officer in the back corner of the bank, parents rushing a feverish, inconsolable child into the ER at 1am.  I see the family of a drug addict, the couple walking out of divorce court, the widow being handed the flag at the funeral.  The girl in the mirror. It's found in all our eyes at one time or another, desperation, vulnerability, fear, anguish, depletion, need.

Refuge isn't really in our vocabulary. Our needs are met when we run to the bank, stop at the grocery store, make a doctor's appointment. It's getting cold we better stop by the mall after school and pick up new winter coats. Do you know of a good rehab?  A good marriage counselor?  Our refuge is where we go when we see need or we  find ourselves in need, for many the first stop is home, we dip into our internal resources. What's your go to?  Mine, more often than not, is ME, my next paycheck, my incredible wealth of knowledge and wisdom, my outstanding people skills, even when I finally resort to prayer I still give the Most High ideas of how He can fix the problem at hand.

I'll bet you think all this was triggered by the news droning on in the background, nope it was  by a little verse tucked into my Bible reading this morning, Psalm 34:8:

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in the Lord."  

Check it out and see, He says. #Blessed is the man who runs to the Lord when he finds himself in over his head, in distress, in a bind, depleted physically, emotionally, relationally, even financially. #Blessed is the guy who reaches his hands upward to His savior when he's at a loss, scared, in trouble.

Where do you take refuge? While I'm a fan of doctors, counselors, friends, savings accounts, retirement plans, a huge fan of Benedryl, Google, hard work, Merica,  tornado shelters, and Travelers insurance, all the good looking men who come when I dial 911, and good government; I challenge you to make a different first call.  When I find a refugee staring back at me in the mirror, I'm trying to make my first call, my first point of service, where I run, where I seek safety, guidance, help, and security, FIRST to be in Him. Psalm 34:8 says I'll be #BLESSED if I do. Plus, all of those other things might one day not work, might not be available, might not be able to help me so my security should be found in something that the storm can't touch, that the fire can't destroy, in something that can't be taken, squandered, or lost.

Oh and since this post was titled refugees, if my refuge is in the Lord, I don't have to be scared any fellow refugees I may encounter along the way.

Trust in Him at all times oh people; pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us. (even during election season!) :)
Ps. 62:8

1995

Took this off a friend's FB wall, but wanted to put it here for the nostalgia!

The year was 1995.
1. Did you know your spouse then? Um well, I guess not, if I did he sure has waited a LOONG time to show himself.
2. Did you carpool? Yep, rode with my friend Lyndsay in her red plymouth laser.
3. What kind of car did you have? 1989 Nissan Sentra, it was popular, Jessie and Thomas had the exact same car, same color and all.
4. It's Friday night .... we're going cruising, we'll drive from the loop of the McDonald's parking lot, thru the movies, up to the pool hall and back around again and again, unless we're just standing in the movies parking lot or out in a big field somewhere around a fire and likely all end up sleeping in my living room floor.
5. What kind of job did you have? Shady Brook Cinema, unfortunately on Vince's shift and not Darryl's & Sno Biz too all the cool kids worked here!
6. Were you a party animal? Well... I wasn't exactly Missionary Mary Beth just yet.
7. Were you a jock? I donned both the soccer and softball jersey, but it's fairly safe to still answer No to this question.
8. Were you in band? Yep.
9. Were you a nerd? See the answer to question 8.
10. Did you get suspended or expelled? Nope just the reason they instituted the attendance policy.
11. Can you sing the fight song? No.
12. Where did you eat lunch? Cafeteria as it was the only place we were allowed to eat.
13. What was your school's full name? Columbia Central High School
14. What was your school mascot? Lion
15. If you could go back and do it again would you? Yeah, sure it's a rite of passage, we survived and even had a little fun along the way.
16. Planning on going to your next reunion? Yes, although FB kind of ruins the suspense.
17. Are you still in contact with people from high school? Yep! We've Christmased every year since the 7th grade. Love them!
18. What were your class colors? Purple and White

19. Senior Trip:  PCB baby! Car hopping. Hurricane party. Club La Villa. Spinikers. The Beach. Montel Jordan. Total Eclipse of the Heart. 

20. Number you graduated in your class?  90 something, but I knew a National Merit Scholar and Coca Cola Scholarship recipient. :) 

2017: The Year of the "F" Word

The doorbell text notification went off on my phone, "How can I pray for you today?" I was in a mood and responded with, "F!" I got back a "What?!$@*!?" 😳😳😂😂 with some surprised and laughing so hard I'm crying emoticons. Which evidently are now available on my computer 🙌👏, so I will not have to use near as many words in my posts. (You wish!😜)

I clarified my text with, "Fitness, Fundraising, and F$@!ty, I'm struggling with them all today and they all start with "F" and are pretty much true "F" words in my book!  Since that text I've added another "F" word to the list, FEELINGS.  In my youth I had LOTS of feelings and I wore them All, no one had to question if I was happy, mad, sad, angry, disappointed, frustrated, excited, you could tell by looking and listening and you really didn't even have to be nearby.  Bless my heart! Now that I'm 29 and much more mature, I take pride in the fact that I'm no longer ruled by my Feelings, until I am. 😔

The other day I rose at 5:30am went for a run, came in and did a workout, spent quality time with Jesus, returned some emails, made some calls to pastors on the east coast and was on my way to work by 8:30am, okay it was a hair appointment, but I made it to my 10:30 meeting and felt like I had already won the day! Hashtag winning! I was OWNING Fitness, Fundraising, and F8#!ty!  But then the other "F" word crept up.  Someone was critical of something I had worked really hard on,  I got an email that my budget was not where I thought it was and I would need to ask for an extension on my Fundraising, and no one even noticed my hair!  When my final meetings ended at 3:30 I headed home to pout in my pajamas and my Netflix. I may have OWNED the morning, but was not OWNING the afternoon. "F!" Failure. 

It's been a few days and I'm back to owning most of my mornings AND afternoons, but still struggling with my personal "F" words.  As I've reflected on last year and what I want to see happen this year I've decided that I'll embrace my "F" words with a great degree of help from my Father. 

As I've walked and talked with Jesus, often times complaining about Fitness, Fundraising,  F*$%ty, and the Feelings that all of these cause, He's said to me many things. Some thru my west coast pastor Judah Smith or my east coast pastor Stephen Furtick, or highlights in my "Chase the Lion," book or my Lifeway study of "Hosea."  (It takes a LOT of work from a LOT of people to keep me from saying the "F" word evidently!) 

One thing He said was, "Focus." In the words, of Furtick, "Any IT person will tell you that you can't get anything done with too many windows open!" 

Or in the words of God, "You sow the wind and you reap the whirlwind!" Yep! That's in the Bible! 

He also told me to suck it up buttercup because there are worse "F" words than my personal ones and others are experiencing them right now!  As I've listened to my Friends this week, I realized He was right! 😏  Some of their "F" words have been Foundational, marriage falling a part, having to relocate, loss of job, Family members struggling with addiction, Funerals, Finances, Family, Fired, Failure, Faithless, Facebook, Friction, Fractures, Frustrations and they're Fed-up with these and all the Feelings that come along with them! Some of them are able to lean heavily on their Faith and their Father, others haven't Found that luxury, that Freedom, that Foundation. 

Regardless of our "F" word it will help us to Focus.  At times we don't even realize that we've taken our eyes off our Father we've just veered slightly because well, the "F" word.  And veering ever so slightly can really change our perspective, I think it's why people shout the "F" word at me when I'm behind the wheel so often. 

My first two memory verses this year were:

 Psalm 19:14, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock & my Redeemer."

 Ephesians 5:15-16, "Be very careful then how you live, not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil."  

Both are to help my Focus be on my Father and the good Future that He has promised me, along with His Faithfulness to me even when I am unfaithful, and the Freedom from all the world's "F" words that He brings. 

So yeah, 2017: The Year of the "F" Word. 

Click Away & Make My Day

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Click Away and Make My Day! 

You're Going to Hell if You Get a Tattoo

You're going to hell if you get a tattoo or so says my mama, so don't anyone show her this post!

Truth is you won't go to hell for getting a tattoo, you could get AIDS or hepatitis, or they could spell it wrong, or it could go on crooked, a flower could grow into a garden as you expand in girth and age, or it could hurt like the dickens, but your eternity is NOT in jeopardy. Someone else's might be though.  

Most of us won't have any context for this because we were born into a nation of many freedoms, not the least of which is our religious freedom. We can worship idols, money, Oprah, football, ourselves, Joel Osteen, nothing at all, or the One True God, God bless America! I took my crew to several places this summer where this is not the case. In some of these nations, the practice of anything, but their national religion would simply be frowned upon, but not in the islands. 

In the islands it is against the law to practice anything except Islam. As a matter of fact, you are not allowed to even bring in items contrary to Islam like bacon or Bibles, idols or alcohol, so of course it's against the law to evangelize. We decided to spend three days in the islands as part of our Southern Asia Experience, we would abide by the rules, we would simply be tourists.  It's a beautiful nation made up of hundreds of islands so playing tourist for a few days isn't much of a challenge.  The challenge was found in enforcing the island rules with my crew of Jesus followers.

"Team, today we will fish and snorkel and pray silently as we go about our business, but you can't tell anyone about Jesus,  can't have your Bibles,  can't  pray publicly over your food, and please refrain from saying the name of Jesus out loud, and you most certainly cannot lead anyone to Christ while we're here, now let's go have some fun!"

I was hoping the sand and surf would distract them, but they were chomping at the bit so I relented and said if someone were to unprompted ask you about your personal testimony of Jesus Christ then you could share your story with them, but that's the only exception because I don't want to go to jail or get deported. Of course, what are the chances that someone is going to unprompted ask about a name they've never heard before in a country where it's against the law to be anything but Muslim? 

Five minutes after this amendment to the rules it happened, but it wouldn't have if my team member hadn't had tattoos. Two young men with NO ACCESS to the Gospel in any form heard another young man's testimony of the One True God. Access to the Truth had been opened up because this heathen pastor's kid went public with his faith through INK! 

I shake my head and laugh at how BIG and how WITTY and how CREATIVE is my Father. Coming from a land of great religious freedom we are stumped when told we can't use our normal worship and evangelism outlets, but thankfully He is not stumped, He has such a fun, creative, individualized plan for every man, woman, and child to come to know Him. We can get in on it if we can get over ourselves. 

P.S. Mom, I'm not going to get a tattoo, but by not allowing me to you're ruining my witness.  

There is most certainly Hope for the Islands! 

A Different Kind of Bible College Student

Well, actually all Bible College Students are kind of "different", but this particular school was VERY different.

I was given a simple task, teach on the Holy Spirit. Cross-cultural teaching through a translator is a task in and of itself without complicating it with the subject of the Holy Spirit, but I attempted.  At the end of the first service, the host missionary kind of shrugged and said, "Well, you should probably have started with Jesus, most of these students are still muslims and hindus." Do what?! I'm pretty good about inquiring about my audience beforehand, but I surely didn't think to ask if the students enrolled in the Bible college were Christians or not.

Turns out it was the first week of school and that each semester the Bible college has been in existence 90% of the students who enroll in the BIBLE college are not even believers! I suppose that shouldn't come as a complete surprise in a nation with less than 1% of it's population knowing Christ, but why on earth would a Hindu or a Muslim sign up to go to a Christian Bible college?  Again, the missionary just kind of shrugged and said, "I think the Holy Spirit draws them here." It's not logical, it doesn't make sense, it's not a bait and switch marketing scam, it's just how God chooses to work. 90% come in as practicing Hindus and Muslims and 100% graduate as Christ followers.

The services that followed were so fun to get to tell them about Jesus and share with them our stories of how we know Him as Savior, Healer, Provider, and Redeemer. Know your audience guys, know your audience, but even more importantly know your Jesus.